What a Year

January 29, 2026.

What a year.

And yes, I know we’re only 29 days into it.

My laptop is kaput. It’s blistering cold here in New Jersey. I’m overwhelmed, slightly annoyed, and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.

So things are going great.

I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want to go next. Not metaphorically. I mean literally where the hell do I want to live?

I want to leave the East Coast.

I want to go back to the West Coast.

Then part of me wants to pack my shit and go back to Europe.

Ask me tomorrow and you’ll probably get another answer.

I just know I don’t want to feel stuck anymore.

More than anything, I think I want to feel safe and sound somewhere. That’s such a simple thing to say, but lately it feels like a luxury. I want a place where I can breathe, make things, work, have some stability and maybe not freeze my ass off every time I walk outside.

I don’t have some profound January lesson to share.

I don’t know where I’m going.

I don’t know exactly how I’m going to get there.

My computer decided this was apparently an excellent time to die.

Money needs to be made.

Things need to be figured out.

And I’m tired.

But I’m still here.

That’s something.

I think I’ve spent a lot of my life waiting until I knew exactly what I was doing before I allowed myself to move. Maybe 2026 is going to require something different from me.

Maybe I just coast for a little while.

Work.

Save.

Create when I can.

Figure one thing out, then the next thing, and hopefully eventually look up and realize I’ve gotten myself somewhere.

Will I know what I’m doing by then?

Probably not.

I’ve made it this far without completely knowing what I’m doing, so apparently there’s some precedent.

I hope 2026 is good to me.

I really do.

I hope I find my way back West, or back to Europe, or somewhere I haven’t even thought of yet. I hope I make music. I hope I get myself into a better position. I hope some of the things I’ve been working toward finally start working out.

And if this isn’t my year?

Who knows.

Ask me in December.

For right now, I’m cold, my laptop is dead, I’m overwhelmed, and I’m still trying.

And despite all of that, I’m grateful to be alive.

That’s enough for January.